Monthly Archives: December 2016

RIP Ronda Rousey

Well that was just awful. I think that was literally the worst possible scenario for Ronda Rousey. I think she would have taken death as a better case scenario than that 48 seconds. She looked like a girl amongst beastly women, and it’s just so weird because it used to always be the other way around.

She really had no business taking this fight. People were absolutely right to question where her head was at when she told people on the Ellen show she was already thinking about retirement. I have to now show the people that I did in fact know this was going to happen.

How the hell was Ronda favored in this fight? That makes absolutely no sense. She takes a year off and chooses to face the beast that is Amanda Nunes. Like did Vegas not take into account that Amanda Nunes made Miesha Tate look completely not good looking last fight? Did they know Amanda Nunes was a lesbian dating another woman UFC fighter? I mean that sex alone should have made her -400.

Just like that, Nunes ends the career of the two most relevant good looking UFC fighters of all time. First Miesha Tate, and now Ronda Rousey.

RIP in fighting ladies. Just stick to looking good for now.

In all this mess, people still aren’t going to give Amanda Nunes any credit. She’s got the chance to be far more dominant that Rousey ever was, but people are just too focused on Rousey and Tate to even care about her. I pray for the next woman who gets the complete ass whooping from Nunes, because it’s going to be this way for awhile.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Sources: John Locher, hollywoodlife.com, MMA fighting.

UFC 207 Betting Guide

NUNES VS ROUSEY

10PM ET

Las Vegas, Nevada

Friday, December 30, 2016

MAIN CARD 10PM ET

(C) Amanda Nunes vs (1) Ronda Rousey (Women’s Bantamweight Championship)

(C) Dominick Cruz vs (5) Cody Garbrandt (Bantamweight Championship)

(1) TJ Dillashaw vs (2) John Lineker (Bantamweight)

(9) Dong Hyun Kim vs (12) Tarec Saffiedine (Welterweight)

(12) Louis Smolka vs (13) Ray Borg (Flyweight)

FS1 PRELIMS 8PM ET

(6) Johny Hendricks vs (8) Neil Magny (Welterweight)

Antonio Carlos Junior vs Marvin Vettori (Middleweight)

Mike Pyle vs Alex Garcia (Welterweight)

Brandon Thatch vs Niko Price (Welterweight)

UFC FIGHT PASS EARLY PRELIMS 7:30PM ET

Alex Oliveira vs Tim Means (Welterweight)

PICKS AND PREDICTIONS

PRELIMS

Alex Oliveira (-140) vs Tim Means (+110)

Alex Oliveira is one strange fighter. Looks awful against Donald Cerrone at 155lbs, then moves up to welterweight, misses weight, and shockingly dominates Will Brooks. Problem I have with this fight for the fraud Cowboy is that Tim Means’ well rounded game and accuracy with his punches will be able to rattle him. I think Oliveira loses composure, slips up on his game plan, and ultimately brings us a Tim Means decision victory.

My Pick: Tim Means (+110)

Brandon Thatch (-150) vs Niko Price (+120)

Must win fight for Brandon Thatch if he wants to stay in the UFC. Niko Price is making his UFC debut, and despite him being an absolute freak with crazy aggression, I am siding with Thatch to keep his career alive. Thatch by KO.

My Pick: Brandon Thatch (-150)

Mike Pyle (+140) vs Alex Garcia (-170)

Mike Pyle is old, too old. However, Garcia is not the best prospect either in terms of development. This fight is going to come down to who has the better power, and that is Garcia for me. Garcia by KO.

My Pick: Alex Garcia (-170)

Antonio Carlos Junior (-135) vs Marvin Vettori (+105)

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Eagles 2017 Opponent Outlook

We now know who the Eagles will play in the 2017 season. Usually one of the main perks of sucking is an easier schedule the following year. After the brutal one the NFL handed the Birds in 2016 it couldn’t get much worse. We don’t know how it will pan out in terms of dates but we do know who we’ll be lining up across from at home and on the road.

HOME- Dallas, NYG, Wash, Ari, SF, Den, Oak, Chi

AWAY- Dallas, NYG, Wash, LA, Sea, KC, SD, Car

This is by no means a cakewalk. We obviously have each NFC East team twice and all of those squads are above average. On top of that, we play arguably the best division in football in the AFC West who boast the Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders and Chargers.

We get hosed by having to play Seattle in Seattle AGAIN. Wtf? In addition, the Birds will travel to Arrowhead to play the Chiefs. So two of the best teams in the league in two of the most hostile environments in the NFL.

The Birds will have the top two teams in the NFC from 2015 on the docket with the Panthers and the Cardinals. They both had huge letdowns this season which makes me think they come back with a chip on their shoulder in 2017.

The one to circle on the calendar is at home against the 49ers. If Chip Kelly stays on with that team it will be great to see him come into Philly and get his ass handed to him. We could also be seeing a rookie QB starting for the Niners in this matchup.

Looking at the opponents right now I would probably have the Eagles at 8-8. The only games I’d chalk up as sure wins would be Chicago, San Fran and LA. I’m saying we definitely lose to Oakland, KC, Seattle. All the other ones could go either way.

I do expect to see a much improved Eagles team, but this schedule is tough.

Written by Eric Quinn

Image Source: CSN Philly

DeSean Jackson Is Officially a Philadelphia Eagle Again

I talked to him when [Eagles head coach] Doug [Pederson] got hired [last January] and he was like, ‘Tell coach, come get me.’ We have fun during the season. He was like, ‘BG, I’ll be back.’ Just little fun. But now that’s it official — as far as the season about to be over — I think you’ll be hearing a lot of noise about DeSean. It’s an exciting feeling to get an Eagle back.” – Brandon Graham

HE SAID OFFICIAL!! That means it’s 100% going to happen. BG and DJ being absolute boys + No more chip = Desean Jackson is a Philadelphia Eagle. On top of this, Lesean McCoy said the words “he’s going back” on an Instagram live video.

We here at DelcoDelphia can see what’s happening miles and miles ahead of everyone else. We know for a fact he is coming based off of our “sources” and we are willing to put our blogs reputation on the line for something we KNOW is going to happen.

So when free agency comes around and one of those jabronis from the Inquirer or CSN Philly tries stealing our thunder, make sure you remind them of who brought the news first.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Source: Philly.com

Dandy Andy: Eagles Beat Overrated Giants

Happy Festivus Ladies and Gentlemen! Last week I spoke about these last two games as an opportunity of growth and development for the Eagles. They could either lie down and die, or see what this team is made of. This week they flexed their abilities and it was as refreshing as all get-out.

Feats of Strength

The first clue that this game was going to be an absolute banger was the sheer size of the Delco community present. My snapchat feed was filled with candidates for Delco Man of the Year. Our Delco insider Brendan Feeney reported that there were approximately 10 kegs, and snapchat stories showcased police horses, underage alcoholism and Delco legend “Dirty Dan” getting in a fight with some concrete and losing terribly. This is the start of a very Delco Christmas and the exact pregame boost the birds needed.

The Eagles were challenged right from the beginning. A divisional game on a short week is never an easy task. They came ready to play and I genuinely believe that it was in part to the return of scumbag of the year Lane Johnson. That opening drive showcased a rejuvenated front seven that was happy to block for anybody and everybody. Ryan Mathews was back in a groove and had carries of 17, 18, and 19 yards on the first two drives. They ran early and often, and capping it off with a touchdown from Sproles was icing on the cake. I thought he wasn’t going to be able to be the same after that hit against Washington, but time and time again he proves to be an excellent role player in this offense.

How about that Carson Wentz guy? I’m not going to say that he played perfectly, because that was definitely not the case, but his scrambling ability has gotten so much better. Those pre-draft comparisons to Aaron Rodgers seemed warranted. What was great about this game was that when the pressure was coming, he used his legs to make plays. This is a facet of his game that can prove deadly if properly developed. The one interception was ugly, but it looked like Treggs didn’t even try to come back to the pass.

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Sixers Big Board, Part 1

College basketball in in full swing, so we can officially start the annual tradition of analyzing college dudes. This year’s draft is already more exciting than last year’s. The Sixers legitimately could walk away with two long-term starters and fill out their roster.

So here’s my early big board. Keep in mind, this is Sixers-based. We’re less than a dozen games in and we haven’t entered conference play, so a lot can change.

But naturally, I’ve already made up my mind on a bunch of these teenagers and there is no going back, no matter what the numbers say! I don’t care if Miles Bridges comes back and puts up 20 and 10, I don’t trust that guy.

  1. Markelle Fultz – PG, Washington

6’4 Freshman

Fultz is the early favorite to go 1 and it’s pretty easy to see why. Just a smooth operator in every aspect of offense. Passing, ball handling, scoring inside and out. 27/7/8 per 40 minutes. He glides up and down the court effortlessly, like he invented the sport. He can play point guard, shooting guard and even some small forward with his 6’9 wingspan. Fultz goes behind his back in the pick and roll like he was born to do it, shows hints of Wade and DeRozan when he looks to score inside the 3 point line, and is doing all this despite being one of the youngest freshman in the country.

  1. Jayson Tatum – F, Duke

6’8 Freshman

It has only been a handful of games for Tatum but he’s passed the eye test. Looks like a go-to guy the Sixers need on offense. Surprisingly good on D too. Only thing that bothers me is his affinity for shooting long twos, and his early passing numbers. I think he’ll improve his passing throughout the year, though. Tatum’s potential is a Carmelo Anthony, but with defense.

  1. Josh Jackson – F, Kansas

6’8 Freshman

Jackson looks like an elite passer and defender for a wing. But he’s got a couple red flags – age and outside shooting. He’s really old for a freshman (turns 20 in February). He hedges his weak outside jumper with a crafty offensive palette within 15 feet and a strong ability to get to the bucket. But I’m kinda over guys with questionable jumpers. I’d say he’s like MKG on defense and Iggy on offense.

  1. OG Anunoby – F, Indiana
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Joe Biden Helps Flyers to OT Victory

A couple of things I’m pretty certain about right how. The Flyers are the answer to all of my problems, and Joe Biden is a goddamn legend. The Vice President of the United States took his babe out on the town to watch winning hockey with some of Delcos finest. Yup, we got some Marple in there along with some Bonner and O’Hara getting in the way of Jill and Joe Ice Cream time.

To rub this into Washington even more, I don’t think VP Biden has ever been to a Capitals game in Washington. I spent like 15 minutes googling “Joe Biden Capitals” and nothing shows up. He doesn’t care about you Washington, and only supports Jill’s beloved Flyers. Check out this section of an article from yahoo in 2011:

“You’re the guy!,” Vice President Joe Biden told Briere when they met in the locker room. Biden’s wife, Jill, is a diehard Flyers fan and keeps a Briere bobblehead doll on her nightstand. The last face Jill Biden sees at night belongs to a pint-sized, bobbling Briere.

Starting to think these Bidens are bringing some highly efficient luck to this team. Maybe the reason why Briere scored so many playoff goals was because Joe Biden looked at him every night…

His first hockey game as Vice President was game 4 of the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals when we beat the Blackhwaks 5-3.

We are 2-0 when these two show up. I think it’s time we send some season tix the Bidens way. The Broad Street bullies had Kate Smith as a luck charm..maybe Hextall can acquire the Bidens as one? I have it all planned out. Obama said he would love to own an NBA team. Let’s Exile Josh Harris, bring in Barack to own the Sixers and have Joebama keep the glory days going in the nice suburbs of Delco. They can live in Roy Halladay’s old house and get ice cream at some Stanley Cup Flyer games! It will be great.

All I know is that whenever Joe Biden is looking on, whether it’s physically at the game, or at Danny Briere after he makes sweet love to Jill, it needs to happen more often post presidency if we want a cup. Wonder why the Capitals never do anything in the playoffs despite having the most talented teams? Joe Biden never watched them.

I’ll let that idea sink in for a while, but now it’s time to acknowledge the greatness we witnessed last night. Steve Mason making ridiculous saves, Claude Giroux saving the city, and Wayne Simmonds dancing us all to victory.


These guys are playing like a bunch of winners and it’s so damn refreshing to watch. Got the Devils tomorrow, and then a little Christmas break.

Let the Joe Biden memes go out on top with this one right here.

Let’s Go Flyers baby.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Sources: Mike O’Rangers, Flyers.com, and Stephen M. Falk

Philly Fan Christmas Wish List

Christmas is less than a week away, and the songwriters weren’t lying when they said it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For the most part, everyone is in a good mood, and family and friends gather to share laughs, good cheer and exchange gifts with each other.

Everyone likes receiving gifts, and you’re lying if you don’t. For a Philadelphia sports fan, we can never have too many good things. So what better idea then for us to all send the Jolly ‘ole man our Philly sports wish list?

While our Christmas list could go on and on, we can’t be too greedy. I’ve limited this list to the five most pressing need for us diehard fans, excluding championships of course. I tried to keep things as realistic as possible, as we don’t want to put any added burden on Santa this holiday season.

Feel free to comment with your own list. We’d love to hear it.

  1. A clean bill of health for Joel Embiid — for the rest of his career

Obviously, the nagging injuries (ankle tweaks, hamstring pulls, etc.) will happen. I’m talking major injuries. No more issues with the foot, no more surgeries, no more extended period of time rehabbing and missing games. To me, Embiid is the most important player for the future of Philadelphia sports. I believe this guy can really be a transcendent player that could lead this team to multiple championships, and in the PROCESS, maybe go down as one of the best players of all time. To do that, he’ll need to be close to 100 percent healthy for the rest of his career. If there’s one thing I need from St. Nick this Christmas, it’s giving Embiid a virtually indestructible body.

  1. An offensive line for Carson Wentz

Listen, I know the receivers suck. But I can only ask for one thing from the jolly ‘ole fella here. And before we go draft or sign an elite receiver, we need to bolster the offensive line to protect our prized quarterback and give him some time to throw. I don’t need to explain to anyone how the offensive line has been a train wreck this season. Jason Peters is old, Jason Kelce sucks, Brandon Brooks has anxiety, and Lane Johnson is a dumbass. Right now, the line is Swiss cheese. As bad as this might sound, the dream is to one day have a line as good as the Cowboys. Once that happens, then we can get an Alshon Jeffrey-type receiver in free agency. Please Santa, help us out.

  1. A franchise goaltender for the Flyers
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Bring On The Next Streak

Best 20 days of my life. I’m superstitious as hell, which is why I chose not to blog about the Flyers during the streak. Didn’t blog when it started, so wasn’t going to blog until it ended.

I never really thought this team was capable of winning more than four or five in a row, but they proved me wrong. This team seems to be a lot further ahead than I thought. Watching this team progress more by the week only makes me want to take Ron Hextall out to an expensive dinner and pay for everything even more than I did before. He’s the best general manager in hockey right now, and I could argue he might even be the best in sports. Whether we make the playoffs or not this year (we should), I will have Ron to hold onto.

“hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies – Andy Dufresne” – Mike Cloran

This is the second straight year a rookie defenseman claimed the top defenseman role by December. Provorov isn’t going to score a bunch of game winning goals like Ghost, but he’s going to be just as important, AND HE’S 19 YEARS OLD. Man, I still can’t get over that. This is like the situation with Sean Couturier in 2012, only Provy is playing the most important role on the team. Flyers defenseman lead the NHL in scoring from the blue line, and are starting to play a lot better in front of Mason as well. Still so much hockey left to play, but man this defense is already looking filthy. Steve Mason is starting to get his stats back up, and we also have Stolarz NHL ready now too. Remember the name Carter Hart. 18 year old kid in our system that just got named Team Canada’s starting goalie for World Juniors. That’s some really good news. FUTURE FUTURE FUTURE.

We have a rookie defenseman on the verge of playing like an elite top pairing defenseman, goalies and defenseman stacking up in the farm, and the best mind in hockey. A Stanley Cup had never seemed so realistic in my life.

As for this year, I’m still not all that comfortable with this team’s position just yet. After all of that, we still only hold the last wild card spot. We played more games than everyone behind us, so the pressure is only going to heat up as teams chase us. I said earlier this year that our only hope is to get one of these wild card spots, and still believe that. Since I’m such a damn genius, I look at the Rangers, Capitals, and Penguins and don’t see how we beat out any of those teams for a division spot. That’s ok though. Want playoff hockey. Need playoff hockey. I don’t care what seed it is.

Lavy comes back to Philly tonight with the second best black player in the league, PK Subban and the Predators. This Predators team is several points out of a playoff spot and Lavy needs to get them back into the playoffs this year if he wants his job to be safe.

After that, we get Wednesday night rivalry on NBCSN with the Capitals followed by the Devils on the road before the holiday break. Can’t wait for Tom Wilson to cost the commie Capitals the game with a stupid penalty. Bring on the next streak baby.

Let’s Go Flyers.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Source: NHL.com

The Ghost of Eagles Fans Future

I am the ghost of Football Future, and you are headed down a dangerous path. Allow me to give you a glimpse into what is yet to come, before it’s too late for you.

The year is 2055. You’re around 60 years old. The US is finally just about fully recovered from Roger Goodell’s presidency, which ended 23 years ago. You weigh 225 and almost all of it is beer and meat fat. You’re a big fan of baggy blue jeans and white Nike Air Monarchs (s/o Pete Carroll.) You hate your wife, and hate your kids even more. Three annoying teenage daughters and a son who isn’t a supreme athlete like you were back in the day (2 years varsity lacrosse, 1 year starter.) You tell your wife you’re convinced he’s gay because he likes art and playing piano instead of watching SPORTS. You work a shitty job for a shitty boss and live next door to an obnoxious gay couple in Broomall that constantly calls the cops when you set off your illegal fireworks on arbitrary holidays for no particular reason. Your life blows. You have one escape once a week, 5 months out of the year. And it’s the Philadelphia god damn Eagles.

This isn’t a symbiotic relationship. It’s a parasitic relationship, like you learned in sophomore year high school science (where you sat next to Becky with the big tits.) You live and die Birds. You pour money into season tickets and wind up having to go to games with your idiot daughter and her scrawny boyfriend that you have to explain the rules to half the time. You dump money into liquor to ease the pain and your dickhead son steals half of it and waters it down and thinks you don’t notice. Your work ‘buddies’ all have teams who have won super bowls and every time you have to say “WE DID WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP THEY JUST DIDNT CALL IT THE ‘SUPER BOWL YET’ to defend your Eagles.

But oh boy does it all wash away on those crisp fall and winter Sunday afternoons (in year 2055 the NFL holds games 6 days a week on a 22 week schedule but this is not relevant to the point.)

The years of Brian Dawkins Jr passed, as did our 6 shots at the NFC championship game since 2016. Sure, the Sixers won a couple back in the ’20s and the Flyers had a couple sprinkled in but you’re a birds fan baby. You bleed green, and that super bowl eludes you.

Anyway, this year is different. The 2054 birds, they were JUST missing that one piece to get them over the hump. But these birds, huh ho they are different. These birds have “it.” They’re explosive on offense, they stop the run on defense. They’ve started off the season blazing to a 6-1 record. By golly this might be the year! Winter is rolling around, and although temperatures don’t really get cold enough to snow anymore in Philly we’re a winter team. Tbt to when we thought global warming was a hoax made up by that “Allen Gore” the kids read about in their virtual textbooks.

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