Monthly Archives: January 2017

Stop Raising The Cat, Philly Is A Dog Town

The Sixers are tearing the league a new one, and have been doing so without arguably their top talent in Ben Simmons. But Ben’s been keeping his name in the news with this Raise the Cat thing.

For those of you that inexplicably choose to live your lives instead of concern yourself with Sixers internet minutia, basically Ben has a couple cats that he displayed on Instagram a few months ago, and this Dennis guy ran with it and started posting pictures of him raising his cat after every win. And now it’s a viral internet thing! Cool!

My two cents: Raise the Cat is corny and lame and I want it to end. We can’t let ourselves become the cat guys of the NBA. Nobody respects a cat guy.

If I was president I’d immediately deport everyone who chooses to own a house cat over a dog (Mike Tyson, I know you’re reading this – tigers are cool. Big badass cats don’t count. I’m only talking house cats.)

We’re already known as the nerds because of the Trust the Process movement. That, I can deal with. The Process has been the right move since day 1, and its national image has taken a complete 180 thanks to the charisma of the Process himself.

The main Process guys are nerds, but they’re our nerds, and I’ll defend them from all the moronic hardo’s that attack them. But doubling down on the hipster-nerdy vibe with cats is a questionable move.

Can we do something with dogs instead? Everyone knows dogs destroy cats in the pet game. Dogs will come running to the front door to greet you day in and day out. Dogs will piss on the opponent’s lawn just to show them who runs the hood. Someone dares to come within 100 feet of your home and what’s your dog do? He (or she) will verbally assault them if there’s even a hint of a threat. It’s the animal version of BOOOO.

Cats don’t do that. Cats don’t care. Cats are selfish, lifeless, racist, sexist assholes that offer nothing to society. There’s a reason calling someone a “pussy” is an insult but calling them a “dog” is a complement.

It might be too late. Raise the Cat got some pub on ESPN before the Rockets game. Chauncey Billups and Jalen Rose shook their heads at it because they are real men. They know what I’m talking about. And this guy DEFINITELY knows what I’m talking about.

Also, am I the only one worried that Ben is a cat guy? I want Ben to be an alpha male that enters the paint at will. I want him barking at the refs, not meowing at them. Do you really think the refs are going to give the benefit of the doubt to a cat guy? No chance. I guess I have to tolerate this since it’s our franchise player, but I won’t be happy about it.

I’m not going to let this bother me anymore than it already has. The team is too fun. But I felt like there’s been too much pro-cat shit in the Philly lately, and something had to be said. We need to get back to being loyal and ruthless, that’s what our city is all about. That’s our calling card. It makes us great.

Rocky didn’t own a snotty cat, he owned a dog. He chose good over evil. So should we.

Written by Tyler Cloran

Image Source: Ben Simmons

Can Sixers Turn Philly Into A Basketball City?

Something shocking is happening to a sports franchise in South Philadelphia. And no, it’s not the Eagles. It’s not the Flyers or the Phillies, either.

It’s the Philadelphia 76ers. That’s right, those 76ers. They’re winning, and they’re winning often. Since the start of the New Year, the team is 10-4, which puts them among the league’s best.

They’re winning games they’re not supposed to win, and they’re doing it in enthralling fashion.

They’re doing it with one of the youngest rosters’ in the league, whose oldest player is all of 30 years old.

They’re doing it without the No. 1 overall pick in last June’s draft, Ben Simmons, who is still a few weeks away from making his NBA debut.

In Joel Embiid, the team has the favorite for the NBA Rookie of the Year and a player who is putting up historic stats under a team-imposed time restriction. The poster-boy for “The Process,” Embiid has electrified a city, a fanbase and the franchise. He’s given the rest of the NBA a reason to talk about the 76ers again. Most of all, he’s given Philadelphia fans a reason to care about basketball again.

Philadelphia has long been known as a football town, going back to the days of Norm Van Brocklin, Chuck Bednarik and Tommy McDonald, when the franchise won its first and only championship.

While the Sixers, Flyers and Phillies have all had more success in terms of championships (a combined seven to the Eagles’ lone 1960 title), fans have always seem to be more connected with the Birds.

But why? Philadelphia has a rich basketball history — with names liked Rasheed Wallace, Wilt Chamberlain, Kyle Lowry, Aaron McKie and Kobe Bryant coming out of the City of Brotherly Love. So why do people identify with the Eagles more than any other team?

I proposed this question on our latest podcast last Tuesday, and the answer seemed clear among our panel.

The Eagles embody the role of the underdog — like true Philadelphians, blue-collar, gritty, hard-working, the fight until the end type. Most people in the Delco area were brought up rooting hard for the Birds because their fathers and grandfathers were diehard fans. And while most of us here in Delaware County are 4 for 4 Philly sports fans, the Eagles have always taken priority. In a 16 game season, every win feels like Christmas morning, and every loss feels like the loss of a pet.

But can the Sixers buck that trend?

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Top Dog and DBag Of The Week 1-27-17

Top Dog of the Week – NFL Media

Look these guys do a tremendous job in the two weeks between conference championship week and Super bowl Sunday. Is Matt Ryan Elite? WHO wins more championships when wearing white? WHAT PLAYERS came by trades and picks from the Browns? WILL THIS CEMENT Tom Brady as best QB of all time? ARE THE FALCONS A GOOD TEAM?

Look the NFL national media is always on top of the ‘create your own storyline’ game. They have to be when there are only games on 3 days a week 26 weeks a year, with 12 weeks of draft coverage and 6 weeks of camp. And at this time of year, I NEED reminders that Julio Jones is indeed an exceptional athlete. Sometimes I forget. I cannot LIVE without knowing if Phil Simms thinks the Patriots are better without Gronk. I need to find out if Colin Cowherd thinks Tom Brady is playing for a starting spot like I need oxygen. Without these takes I’d be starved. I’d look like Spongebob the first time he went to Sandy’s.

Shout out to you guys, what would football be without you?

Douchebag of the Week – Anyone outside Southeast PA

I could write 1000 words on why JoJo was jipped. I could write a hit piece on the NBA. I could have a temper tantrum. I already did that though. But Embiid summed it up on 47 characters better than I ever could.

If you didn’t vote for Embiid at least 30 times fuck you. If you’re a media member and didn’t vote for Embiid double fuck you. If you’re an NBA player triple fuck you then fuck you again for reading some lowlife Delco weirdo’s blog about why you suck (I love to imagine like, Dion Waiters reading this in a dark hotel room before bed getting angry at himself for voting for K-Love.)

If you did vote for Embiid and you’re not from the greater Philadelphia area (i’ll even include south Jersey) then scram because either you moved away from this great place or you’re on a bandwagon. Either way I hope you get spit on by an alpaca.

No matter what i say it will make no difference, Joel Embiid not making an All-Star game with his current numbers, regardless of games played, is a historically enormous fuck up. Please fix it Adam Silver, you’re better than this.

Written by Brendan Feeney

Image Soruces – lockerdome.com, globalcitymap.com, twitter.com/NFLMedia, shutterstock.com

Wawa Shits On Sheetz

“Sheetz is better” might be the absolute worst thing anyone from Delco can hear. We’ve spent way too much money on great coffee and held doors for far too many people at Wawa to hear that bullshit. Leave it to people outside of PA to give these premature, ill informed opinions on this matter.

Subway. Jeeeez guy try again. I love me some Big Cat, but my man is just wrong here. Pardon that take.

Yeah, this is coming from a New York guy. New York is famous for their what? Hot dogs? Yeah congrats guys, you mastered the fucking hot dog. If Wawa is gas station food, then it is the Michael Jordan of gas station food.

There are going to be those Pittsburgh people who weren’t loved enough as a child. Their parents weren’t good enough people to move their kids to an area with a Wawa around. They grew up and built up this sad opinion that Sheetz is actually better than Wawa.

Wawa vs. Sheetz

The only real stat that Sheetz wins in is the variety of food, but just because you have more variety, doesn’t mean the quality is better. Wawa clearly has the cheaper, better quality food. Yeah, it’s great that Sheetz has those little microwaveable chicken wings and bites, but that will never compare to my Classic Buffalo chicken strip sandwich with a Wawa chocolate milk and Wawa’s Mac and cheese. (Big reason why I’ve been hitting the cardio harder lately.)

This chart is from odyssey.com

We kill it in the two big ones. Higher quality food, and higher quality coffee. That’s all we need baby. If we had more variety, it would just take me another half hour to decide what to eat anyway.

So call me back when you go to a Sheetz’s hoagiefest five days a week, hold at least 3 doors for people walking in, drink great coffee and walk out of the place only spending single digits. The Wawa vs. Sheetz argument doesn’t have a clear winner in the state of PA, but Philadelphia agrees wholeheartedly that Wawa is better. Let’s face it, we just know a lot more about food. We have the Cheesesteak, hoagies, soft pretzels, Wooder Ice and more.

We need to keep defending Delcos kitchen from these absurd Sheetz attacks folks. Have a great day.

Written by Mike Cloran

Giroux Being A Bad Leader Is Fake News

Man we really needed this win. If there’s one thing I want to get across to Flyers fans before they give up reading this article it’s this: This 2016-2017 Flyers team is a different team every month. Hell, they are a different team every five games. Our defense can be shaky, our goaltenders can get rattled, but overall the system works and the talent is there. Don’t freak out over a rough 10 game stretch. Firing Dave Hakstol isn’t going to help, Stolarz isn’t going to come in here and win the Vezina, and for THE LOVE OF GOD, this isn’t going to help either.

Trade Claude Giroux lol. It wasn’t just these guys. I saw a lot of people actually try and say this would be a good idea.

Playoffs this year is a bonus. Just because we had blind luck in trading Carter and Richards, doesn’t mean we should trade every superstar in his prime. They need to keep pushing the franchises culture of winning. Never retreat. Keep moving forward and crack a wild card spot this year.

Reinforcements are coming, and by the time Claude Giroux loses his value, we will have a good, young and cheap team around him to finish out the contract. If you trade Giroux right now, this team would fall out of the race and be set back. It’s extremely hard to find a top line center who can handle a power play, win a shit ton of faceoffs, kill penalties, backcheck, and score game winning goals like it’s his god damn job. Get off his fucking back.

Where We Stand

Every single team in the Eastern Conference has a chance to make the playoffs. EVERY team.

Toronto is likely to pass us pretty soon, but they are a very young team. We play a lot better in this latter half and we have the right combo of vets and young dudes to make a strong push. It’s not going to be easy. Half of these teams will drop off, but the other half will be on our ass until April. The last month of hockey sucked, but last night was really encouraging. A Claude Giroux OT goal after a 2-0 comeback is this team just being itself. We are going to fall behind a little in the standings before the all star break comes, but they will gain lost ground like they always do in February and March.

Trust the Process and never doubt Claude Giroux again.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Source: Herald and Review

The Year The Pick Swap Happens

What were you doing on Thursday, July 9th, 2015? Probably taking in the sweet summer air, maybe catching a ball game, downin some brews, smokin a J, chillin’ with the homies?

Not Samuel Blake Hinkie. While you were enjoying life, Sam was plotting and scheming, trying to make Philadelphia’s professional basketball team the best it could be. He looked around at the NBA landscape and decided, I’m going to mess Sacramento’s day up.

At the time, the Kings were already god awful, but their future still provided some optimism. That glimmer of hope really bugged Hinkie, so he did something about it. He traded two European scrubs (Arturas Gudaitis and Luka Mitrovic) for Nik Stauskas, Carl Landry, a 1st round pick (unprotected in 2019) and those beautiful swap rights in 2016 and 2017. One of the most lopsided trades in the 21st century.

Basically, we got a fun combo guard, a first round pick, and extra lotto balls for free so the Kings could sign Rajon Rondo, who spent all of 1 year with the team racking up assists while still finding a way to be an asshole, as only Rondo can do.

In other words Sam straight bullied these poor guys.

My heart goes out to all the poor basketball fans in Sac Town. Stay strong.

This year, those aforementioned swap rights look like they’ll have actual value (and let’s be real: even if we only swap up from 8 to 6 it will still be hilarious).

That being said, the Kings are somehow only 1 game out of the playoffs. But fear not.

They have lost 3 straight and 8 of 10

The Kings went 1-6 on a 7-game- home stand, which was expected, considering they were up against the Cavs, Warriors, Clippers, and Thunder for 4 of those games. Still, not the best stretch.

Rudy Gay is out for the season with a torn Achilles

In the most recent loss to the Pacers, Rudy Gay went down. Gotta feel for the dude. He’s pretty clearly been their second best player and was due for a pay day this offseason. Achilles injuries are brutal for any athlete, especially a basketball player. But if it gives the Sixers more lottery balls, maybe it was for the best (just kidding) (kinda). Gay’s minutes will be spread out amongst names like Matt Barnes, Anthony Tolliver and Omri Casspi.

Their upcoming schedule is H-E-L-L-Double Hockey Sticks

Sacramento is staring into a deep well of sadness. Tonight they begin an 8 game road trip, squeezed into 12 days.

That includes 3 back-to-backs, or as we in the biz call them, “schedule losses”. They finish off the road gig with 4 games in 5 nights, the 4th being against the fast-paced, run-you-out-of-the-gym-and-make-you-throw-up Rockets. Eeeeesh.

On a related note, if you want to witness the Sixers win by 20 up close, I recommend getting seats to the game on January 30th. Tickets as low as $12 on StubHub. Get yours now!

Right before the trade deadline the Kangz are on the road at Golden State in the second of another back-to-back. A long losing streak ending with a blowout = a Boogie outburst = a Boogie trade? That would be dope.

Prediction

I’m almost certain the Kings will have a very bad second half, and they won’t make the playoffs.

I think they win under 30 games this year, finish as the 5th worst team (Dallas, Minny, Philly, Orlando all pass them), and win the lotto baby. Let’s go.

Written by Tyler Cloran

Image Source: CSNPhilly.com

Sixers Playoff Hopes Reflect 08-09 Thunder

As impossible as it seems, I love this Sixers team more and more every day. They’re finally getting coverage on ESPN and it is for their success rather than recently their blunders. As much as I hate to say it though, when they make the playoffs this season, they’re most likely going to be a playoff pretender. With the lack of experience and home-field advantage, their first round opponent is going to outweigh them. But I’m fine with that. The first step in completing The Process is getting experience to give them what they need to make serious playoff runs. This Sixers team reminds me a lot like the Oklahoma City Thunder from eight years ago in how they dealt with struggles to eventually become one of the best teams in the NBA.

For the first few years after Kevin Durant was drafted, the Thunder/Sonics could not buy any wins and continued to finish in the bottom of the Western Conference. In the first season of the Oklahoma City Thunder, (also the first season Durant and Russell Westbrook were together) the team started to win games around the midway point of the 08-09 season. Sound familiar? Fast forward to the next season, with a year of Durant and Westbrook playing together and adding a few veterans, the Thunder were able to find a spot in the playoffs as the eighth seed and played the defending champion Lakers where nobody gave them a chance to even win a game. They ended up pushing the series to six games and were eliminated on a Pau Gasol buzzer beater. They had the defending champs on the ropes and were a tip in from forcing them to seven games. They made an impact on a lot of people and for the next seven years were one of the best teams in the conference which only stopped due to one of their players realizing he couldn’t win with one of the greatest point guards in the league.

The eastern conference right now is owned by LeBron James just as the West was in Kobe Bryant’s control a decade ago. When comparing the Sixers current task ahead of them to what the Thunder had to face, the Thunder were able to make an impact in the playoffs almost immediately because Kobe was falling out of his prime and the West was up for grabs. Although the East isn’t as open as the West once was, the Sixers can still make a name for themselves as being one of the top three to five teams in the conference until LeBron starts to fall out of his prime like Kobe did. It’s only a matter of time until the Sixers make the playoffs, and who says they won’t this year?

I want to thank Sam Hinkie. To me, Hinkie is that rich uncle who died and you’re the un-expecting nephew who has just been awarded his entire fortune. The Sixers are only five and a half games out of a playoff spot and have won as many games in their last nine as they did all season before that (7). They’re one of the hottest teams in the NBA right now and I didn’t think that it would start to happen this soon. Right now, the team is figuring out what to do with that fortune.

I believe the Sixers will be the next major sports team in Philadelphia to win a championship. They’re starting to click defensively; they have a future all-star and superstar in the making with Embiid and one in waiting with Ben Simmons. They’ll get that playoff experience sooner rather than later, and in the next five years will be one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference. This team has a very high ceiling and it is a great payout for Sixers fans who have been on the bandwagon through the historically bad seasons. I’m happy to welcome new fans to this team. If you aren’t a Sixers fan yet though, you better act quickly, because the bandwagon is starting to fill up, and once it gets going, there is no turning back.

Written by Mike Pascarella

Image Source: Rocky Widner/NBAE/Getty Images

NBA All-Star Game Is RUINED

What a crock of shit. A rookie has the league by storm. A player is putting up triple doubles more than once a week. A borderline mentally challenged seven footer was lovable as they come. None of them are starting. The most boring star in the league is. A hated traitor is. An undeserving guard that is made better by 4 Olympians and an unrivaled amount of talent is. A midrange shooter who gets back on D is. The All-Star game is a popularity contest. It’s for fun. It’s about who is top tier but doesn’t bore the SHIT out of you, not who has the best god damn PER. It was about the fans. And now here are the lineups.

I’m sorry but I have a negative desire to watch Kawhi Leonard play sound defense and jump in a three point stance on offense. I don’t want to watch Jimmy Butler effectively knock down 15 footers, or Steph Curry turn the ball over 7 times. I want to watch Russell Westbrook try way too hard to rip the rim right off the backboard. I want to watch Zaza Pachulia look completely out of place. I want to watch our hero Joel Embiid swat away James Harden’s eurostep layup.

Look, Adam Silver is the best commissioner any sports league has had in a long time, but goodness did he let this get fucked up. The fans didn’t control much of anything at all in the NBA, even less so recently as the league’s popularity has soared in the last decade. Ticket, jersey, memorabilia, and sponsorship prices have soared along with it. Fans have lost any say in what the league does, because the league knows it can get away with most anything. The All-Star game was ours, and it’s been taken from us. No one cares who ‘esteemed’ media members think are deserving, or what players are going to vote their friends in. And even though I’ll still probably watch this game because I’m disgustingly addicted to the NBA, but many won’t. For everyone’s sake, please switch it back.

Written by Brendan Feeney

Image Source – @NBAAllStar (twitter)

Rookies Ball Out In An Electric Sixers Win

Oooh baby do you know what that’s worth? OOOH HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH

I’m going to ramble all over the place so buckle your seat belts folks.

After flushing the Moron-to Craptors, the Sixers have won 7 of 9. Say it with me: The Sixers Are A Good Basketball Team.

Crazy thing is, Noel and Nik were pretty butt last night, but it didn’t matter.

The rookies keep showing up and ball out like they’re the blues brothers or some shit. We’ve been waiting for Olympics Dario to arrive. It took half a season, but I think he’s here.

The Homie had an electric 4th quarter. Scooping up 50/50 balls, draining threes, and BLOCKING SHOTS. MULTIPLE SHOTS. DARIOOOOOOOO.

He was feeding off the crowd, and the crowd was feeding off him. The Well is a self-sustaining ecosystem, but for basketball.

TLC isn’t thinking, he’s just playing, and his energy is palpable. He’s better than Jaylen Brown and always was better than Jaylen Brown.

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Joel Embiid Is The King Of Social Media

There are athletes who are good on the internet, but none are as genuine and funny as the Sixers’ big man. Joel “The Process” Embiid is the bonafide king of social media and he knows it. His Twitter/Insta antics alone have made him into a sensation in the NBA off the court just as much as he has been on the court. We take a look at some of the savagery JoJo has provided us with in recent memory. If he gets snubbed from the All-Star Game, the NBA should at the very least let him run their accounts for the night.

Instagram

Instagram embedding does not include locations so we provided them for you in italics

This pic went viral and for good reason. The dude just loves to have fun. We could all learn a thing or two from the big fella. TJ’s face is priceless.

 

Location: Bullshit Land. His “locations” are incredible. Here he’s not so subtly referring a no call on Boogie Cousins on his shot attempt. Good thing he plays in the NBA and not the NFL where he probably would’ve gotten fined.

TOUGH LOSS #TheProcess

A post shared by Joel "The Process" Embiid (@joelembiid) on

 

Location: BBQ Chicken. The savage locations strike again. The best part about this one is that it clearly pissed Whiteside off. He took a shot at Embiid last week when talking about All-Star voting becoming a “gimmick”. We have Joel’s response to that later in the post. Let’s just say Joel – 1, Whiteside – 0.

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