Monthly Archives: October 2017


For the first time since the birth of Jesus, Thursday night football is putting on a game worthy of my time. Carson “Perfect Human Being” Wentz vs. Cam “I Hate Female Reporters” Newton should be a good one guys. Cam might have gotten them some bad PR, and possibly some bad karma thrown his way from the football goddesses, but Christian McCaffrey got them that good karma to balance it out. So leave both teams at even strength on the karma board.

Damnit..could you imagine putting Christian McCaffrey and Carson Wentz in a film room? Oh well.

Anyway, Bovada has us at +3 on the road.  While I like those odds, I still feel like 5-1 is way too good to be true. With Lane Johnson and his BADass goatee out of the game, other aspects of this team are going to have to step up. I need a Jordan Hicks pick 6 tonight, maybe a safety or two, and a couple long bombs from Jake Elliot. That should do it for me. Oh, and if Nelson Agholor scores a touchdown he HAS to dab all over Carolina. Maybe even run over to the Carolina bench and do it right in Cam’s face.

Whatever happens tonight, I like where this team is positioned. 5-1 would be (borat voice) very nicce, but going home 4-2 with Lane back, and Darby getting close would still have us right on track. Football is so fun man.

It’s now time to go cook some body parts of dead animals and drink a lot of light beer.

Speaking of beer, pop on the Eagles power hour before kickoff to add some volume to your shouts toward the T.V

Go Birds baby!

Written by Mike Cloran

Dandy Andy (AGAIN)

“Whew.” That was the text my mother sent me just minutes after the Eagles squeaked by in their 26-24 shootout victory against the Chargers this evening. My mother has always been an Eagles fan, and I have spent many a Sunday afternoon screaming at the T.V. with her. But this time she was definitely right. Despite our awesome record, there are still plenty of things to be worried about.
The defense looked incredibly sloppy. Crippled with injuries, they were exposed once again by a staunch receiving core. I really can’t fathom how Keenan Allen has made it this far without hurting himself, but I am happy for him.

When healthy, he is a coverage nightmare. He had 138 yards receiving paired with 114 and a TD from Tyrell Williams. This is going to continue to be a theme until Darby comes back, and this is inherently putting pressure on the offense to score, but this week the offense answered the call.
This run game is freakin great. The Chargers are ranked 31st in the league when it comes to run defense, and the Eagles broke them down. Corey Clement and Wendell Smallwood are providing great depth at running back, and watching Blount run over people is exactly what the fan base had hoped for. When he rumbled, bumbled and stumbled and then stiff-armed that guy into the depths of the turf, I was awestruck. This ground pound opens up opportunities for Carson, and this offense looked great on the first four drives. We managed to run 6 whole minutes off the clock, with just a two- point lead. This is the most dangerous weapon our team has, and say a prayer that we continue to use it in this way.
Torrey Smith really seems to suck at football, or so I thought. He came out with a tweet today expressing his frustrations, and I don’t hate him nearly as much for it now. The guy wants to be great, and Carson will continue to give him opportunities. Four drops in four games are still kind of brutal though. Nelson continues to prove his worth, and those like three targets he gets each game are almost always receptions in crucial moments, and it is wonderful to see how he has grown.

The offense stalled about midway into the third quarter, and we scored like a million field goals. I know this guy Elliott is a legend, but damn can we stop riding him this hard. We don’t want his leg to fall off.
The Eagles are still working out the kinks with game management, and this defense will continue to keep opponents in games. But if we are able to use the run game to our advantage, and Fletcher Cox comes back on defense, we will be fine. The Cardinals are a team with a decimated offensive line and no David Johnson. I hope we pound them into the dirt.

Written by Andrew Masterson