Monthly Archives: December 2017

Tempered Expectations: A Terse Review of the Sixers Thus Far

Quick side note- FUCK Enes Kanter.


Going into the season my guess for playoff rankings was this; Cavs, Wizards, Celtics, Raptors, Sixers, Miami. The order is clearly wrong but, when healthy, there’s a clear disparity between the top 6 and rest of the east. I think if we enter playoffs healthy we’re in that top 6.

The Knicks have surprised but have had one of, if not THE most favorable schedule in the NBA. 16 of their 20 next games are away, and to be blunt, they are about to get fucked. Our schedule has been slightly on the tougher and recent shitty play can be attributed to JJ, RoCo, and Embiid being out or not 100%, creating little cause for concern. I think we end up at 6 or 7 playing the Cavs or Wizards.

To review, it’s been as expected. That’s crazy to say because like half our team hasn’t hit puberty yet, but a lot of play has not exceeded potential. Embiid is obviously capable of being one of the best bigs to ever touch a basketball. We’re a vastly different team when he’s on the floor.

Ben has been… fucking I don’t know. He’s one of if not the best rookies the league has seen in a decade. He clearly has the talent, confidence, and work ethic to be phenomenal. But sometimes we get a little precum. He’s a new player, playing a position he has never tried before. He’s leaf we ding every major statistical category but we still want more from him? I guess we can just sense what he’s capable from within his glimpses of basketball genius.

JJ and RoCo have made me borderline genocidal. They shine and dim to such extremes I think about killing puppies. When they’re low they look like Andre Roberson and Jimmer Fredette. When they’re high they look like Shawn Kemp and Steve Kerr. Their floor spacing and defense will need to be on if we want to be successful.

TJ has been TJ. Love that guy. Never goes particularly cold, and like once a month he will drop 12 straight points for you and win you a game. Complete anomaly.

The rest- Booker has been the scrappy and hardworking, but turnover prone guy we expected. A great addition. Bayless has been par for the course but seems to fuck up consistently at the worst of worst times. I miss Nik and hope Jahlil gets run over by a bus. Amir has been a decent bench man, adding some post plays when we need. Markelle please come back I need you.

This is not an analytical article, more of a general review. We’re clearly poised for an exceptional future, but unless everyone is playing their absolute best basketball come April then I don’t see us moving past the 2nd round. If you read this whole blog, you’re a bigger idiot than me, but if you did I’ll end on this. mmmmmmGGOooooooooooOOOOoooOOoooOo Birds


Written by Chuckie

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Tempered Expectations and Why God Isn’t Dead


You can best understand me if we start on Saturday night. I attended a Christmas party with friends, one thing lead to another, and all of a sudden I was the drunkest guy in the zip code. Being as that was, I left my phone at said party and had to drive back on Sunday morning. Someone thought it was a good idea to get a brunch crew together and soon I was once again one of tri-state area’s biggest disappointments.

You say “I don’t give a shit about any of this” and I say it’s important because I blacked the hell out and forgot anything even tangentially related to the Eagles game. That being true, I could still feel in my balls that something wasn’t right. This feeling was given credence after I woke up on a couch at 11pm, ordered an Uber after I found my car parked in, and had my driver offhandedly mention that our sweet sweet boy “busted his got damn leg”. Memories flooded back into my skull like I was a vet back in a Vietnamese jungle surrounded by Charlie.

Here’s the reality: the best we can hope for Wentz is that he makes a full physical and psychological recovery before next September. I think I can speak for most of the fan base when I say that he’s almost permanently won us over with his play and personality. Who knows how many washed up Delco football players were ready to offer up their ACL to this guy. For better or worse, he’s our messiah. It’s totally subjective, but football fans can feel in their gut whether they’re watching a good or great team. On a 3rd and 12 when he impossibly slips a collapsed pocket and zips the ball through coverage, you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Wentz was that difference. It’s undeniable that the kid has the kind of magic in him that makes an impact on every drive and can animate a whole team.

Some among us are choosing to forget this because “Big Dick” Foles has had some truly special moments as an NFL quarterback. This has led a lot of fans to act like he’s going to be the second coming of 2006 Jeff Garcia with a full head of hair and without the erectile dysfunction. The four stages of Philly fandom are apathy, a glimmer of hope, belief in the possibility of something special happening, and then soul-crushing failure. That’s what that kind of unwarranted optimism sets us up for and there’s a good reason that Foles couldn’t beat out Trevor Siemian or Brett Hundley for a job. I’ve been quoted saying as saying other not so great stuff about Nick Foles in midnight green, but here we are.


I’m forgetting I ever said any of that, and you’re forgetting about the four stages of fandom that always end up with you face down at Mummers mumbling “maybe next year”. I often say “believe in something”, and it’s one of those phrases I use just for the sake of making words with my mouth. I never think it means anything, but I remember in times like these that it does. A French songwriter who I don’t care to Google once said that she had two loves, her country and Paris. My two loves are this city and these fucking birds. The playoffs are next month. Time to dig in and believe in something.

Written by John Renzi