Category Archives: Delco Stuff

Calm Down Philly Blockheads

If you follow Delcodelphia you probably saw Muke’s legendary video, but if you live under a rock watch IMMEDIATELY:

Anyway, every time we have one of our blogs, videos, or tweets blow up we get bozos from Mayfair, or Roxborough, or Fishtown tweeting at us nonstop, saying “It’s Philadelphia not Delcodelphia faggot” or “Ur not from philly” or anything referencing alcoholism or being soft.

 

No shit bozo. We plaster Delco on everything we put out. Pride in Delco, and way too much of it. We live 20 mins from the Linc and you live in a shithole armpit of the city just as far away, we aren’t jealous buddy. Their ears perk up when they hear the world Delco. Native Americans put up less of a fight against the white man than a Northeast weirdo at a tailgate eavesdropping and hearing a Delco kid say they’re from Philly does.

The other thing they say is “u prob say ur from Philly when people ask.” No I don’t freak, I say I’m from outside the city because I don’t expect anyone to know what or where fuckin Newtown Square is. If your square head, poor fade having ass ever meandered outside the USA BABY and someone asked where you’re from you’d say America. It’s called catering to your audience but that’s alright.

 Oh well, it’s not like half of them can read this shit anyway and I’m just writing this to get clicks from Muke’s video. We’re all in this together. Go birds baby

Written by Chucky

 Image via dailymail

Top Dawg/ DBag of the Week

Top Dog – Me

Today, for the first time in probably 2 months i wrote a blog for the blogging website that i’m supposed to regularly blog for. The grit portrayed by me to not only endure 25 hours a week at a delco Giant, drink 5 days a week, and also take 20 whole minutes to write a simple blog is truly impressive.

Okay on a serious note, the real reason I haven’t been writing is I was diagnosed with a rare disease called “being a lazy piece of garbage.” So now that I’ve got my illness in remission, let’s get back to it, and Make Delcodelphia Great Again.

Douchebag of the Week – Kyrie Irving

Imagine playing next to Lebron James, averaging more shots per game in the playoffs and regular season, a comparable usage rate, and a real chance at the title every year, max contract, and saying “Ya know I think Minnesota would be nice.”

Flat earth joke. Kehlani joke.

I would say that if I were from Cleveland I’d be pissed, but if I were from Cleveland I would’ve killed myself years ago. So really what it boils down to is, that we owe Kyrie a thank you. The likelihood of Lebron leaving the Cavs next year seems to grow every day, and we have created the delusion that Lebron is coming to Philly. Look he’ll probably finish his career there. He’ll most likely never betray his hometown again. But maybe….

Not so small ball lineup

Ben
Fultz
Cov
Lebron
Embiid

Journalism by Brendan Feeney

The Time is NOW 🙂

“It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all.” – a lot of people have probably said this, but I was listening to that Lumineers song “stubborn love” and for some reason, it resonates with Philly Sports.

We’ve felt pain, and we’ve endured that pain (Phillies don’t count since nobody watches baseball when they suck, unless you love pain and watch them every night and yell at your TV and call Hector Neris an asshole, AKA my dad).

I grew up in what I like to believe were the glory days of Philly Sports. I was like 9 years old when the Eagles went to the Super Bowl, but even then I understood the magnitude of the situation. I remember the Phillies World Series run not as a successful baseball team, but more as a crusade of men. The Sixers? I mean other than the Iverson games, the Chris Webber trade, and I guess some of the Iguodala days, there was nothing there. The Flyers have always been my team, and I still feel as if the Stanley Cup in this town will always be some myth. The Boston comeback was pants off amazing, and the cup run was memorable.

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

I always felt that the time range of 2004-2010 was the best it was going to be. Success, championship success has always seemed like something hardworking Philadelphia people don’t get to have. Almost like it’s an option on our life insurance policies, and people from

Philadelphia simply aren’t given that option. We’ve still carried on with our lives, even though we knew that deep down, there was no way a championship was actually going to come here.

The World Series was just some freak occurrence, just like the housing collapse of 2008. Seriously, isn’t that ironic they happened in the same year? It took the entire U.S economy to collapse for us to win something.

Even losing in the 2009 World Series felt extremely normal. Like “ohhh yeah, this is what we are, we’re pieces of shit.” The Miracle at the Meadowlands, Halladay’s no hitters, the Flyers beating Pittsburgh in a first round series. Every one of those felt just right.

As fans, we took in those moments and made them seem bigger than they actually were, because we knew that they were the times that would make us most happy, and proud to waste countless hours of thinking, and talking about Philly sports.

Personally, I think I suffer from the losing that has gone on. You ever wonder how much better your life could have been if Donovan Mcnabb didn’t throw that INT? Or if Patrick Kane was never born? Who knows, maybe that girl you had a crush on would have asked you out, instead of you doing nothing like a dope. I probably would still be at church every Sunday if Jeff Garcia won us a Super Bowl. Shit, I’d maybe even consider priesthood.

 

But it’s 2017 now baby. 

We have truly evolved as fans. We like draft picks, developing those draft picks, and putting conditions on those draft picks. We don’t just want to hurt you, but we want to save money in the meantime and hurt you REALLY bad in a couple years.

Before I make Microsoft word love to Sam Hinkie, let me just say this. I kind of hate how nerdy, and analytical our fan base has gotten, but if that’s what it takes to win, sign me up.

I hope Sam Hinkies wife loves him unconditionally forever, because he deserves it. It’s almost like the entire city of Philadelphia went through rehab for Hinkies tenure. We were drunk to believe players like Iggy, Lou Williams, Thaddeus Young were franchise cornerstones to build around.

Sam Hinkie was our AA leader, and helped us sober up to the reality: You NEED Superstar(s) to win an NBA championship. Did it take us a little longer to sober up than we hoped? Yeah it did, but we did it right, and we didn’t take any shortcuts.

THE TIME IS NOW

I used to always say to people “I wish I could go back to like 2004 man.” Seriously, you guys remember how awesome those NFC championship games were?

You had that go to group that was invited over. Everyone’s got their $50 NFL Equipment jersey (at least one person has a David Akers jersey and it’s awesome), chips in bowls, pigs in a blanket, and high fives all around.

Staying up late to watch the NLCS. Cole Hamels wheelin and dealin, and Matt Stairs with his own little Roy Hobbs moment. Then ultimately, pulling the all nighter of my life after Brad Lidge went 48/48 in save opportunities.

The Flyers, and I guess the Sixers were a given to make the playoffs. You could always count on them to give some life in April and May. 

Philadelphia sports gives us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. We have our own separate problems that go on in our lives, but everyone has shared that pain and suffering of losing. We can relate a lot of good times in our lives directly to the successes of our franchises.

Although we only came away with one championship from that 2004-2010 era, we at least felt like we were always in the fight. We had every reason to call over the buddies and get the chips in the bowls.

But recently, we haven’t had that. We’ve been poodles going against pitbulls. Phillies, and the late season Eagle games turned into a cheap night out to save some money. The only talk in this town was draft talk. Who to draft, who this guy could end up like, yada yada. That time is about to end.

I think we’re starting to find out that we’re not only going to be in the fight, but expected to win the fight. It’s about to get really fun in this town, but also very serious. From the Utleys and Howard’s being shed, all the way up to the birth of promise with just about every team, it’s time to win. We have just as much young promising athletes in this town than we have had disappointments.

That 2004-2010 train we were riding on? That train has broken down. That train is finished. We have let go from that train completely. A new train is gaining steam, and it’s time to hop on. The time is coming where we complain about ticket prices. We complain about spending $100 to watch the Sixers play Lebron, but in the end it’s worth every dollar. Trade deadlines will soon be about who’s coming, and not who’s leaving. Part of thriving as a Philadelphia sports fan is having irrational hope, and that’s as back as ever.

 

And finally, I will be able to update this:

 

I love you Philadelphia Sports! Please come back to me.

 

Photos courtesy of Philadelphia magazine, nydailynews.com, kumarfam.com, Rob Perez, Brian Bahr

 

Barnabys Havertown Fire Reaction

Sometime around 5am this past Sunday, Barnaby’s in Havertown caught fire.

Police received calls at 5:21am from people driving by on West Chester Pike about the fire.

It was categorized as a two alarm fire, and crew’s got there shortly after the place burst into flames. Here’s video of the fire crews on sight during the fire.

No one was in the building during the fire.

The likely cause of the fire was a cigarette.

In all of our time here at DelcoDelphia, we have numerous tweets that garnered a lot of buzz, but nothing like this one.

Sure it might have just been a Barnaby’s; a bar that consists mostly of depressing 50 year old dudes, cheesesteak egg rolls from heaven, and a grade A porch to chain smoke cigarettes off of, but it’s a lot more than that for the people of Delco. “It’s always hard to accept that your home is destroyed.” Mark Marrone told us. We even got a hold of Shane “Local Drunk” Finegan and got his thoughts on the situation. “It was bittersweet news to me because I have no idea where to go for thanksgiving eve now.” A night where 50% of the conversations are with people you hoped you would never see after graduating high school. It’s not all bad news for Shane though. “It’s also one less bar to get banned from.”

The good news, however is that Barnaby’s will be back, and probably far sooner than anyone expected. “I’ve already started the ball rolling. You have to turn around and be optimistic. We’re going to be back and we’re going to be back soon,” said owner Bill Daley.

Word on the street is that they could be back as soon as July 4th.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Source: FOX29

Delco Proper Hitting Comedy Central

I don’t think I could come up with a show any better than this. Delco Proper: a show about Delco, acted and created by a couple dudes from Delco.

If you get a pilot for Comedy Central, you’re doing a lot of things right. Since Workaholics is done, and It’s Always Sunny will be on its way out in due time, why not these guys? You guys remember “burrelled my girl”?

Yup, same guys in this video are the same guys doing this show. John Mckeever, from Delco is directing and starring in the show. If this show lasts more than even a season, theses guys should be given the key to Delco (if that’s a thing). They should be given a parade with cheap beer being tossed all around. We all knew deep down that Delaware County was more than a county, and now it’s time for the entire world to find that out. out the short clips on YouTube. This one is really funny. I can’t wait for this.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Source: Delco Proper

Top Dog and DBag Of The Week (2-17-17)

Top Dog of the Week – Carroll Basketball Alumni

Not to toot our own horn, but also to do exactly that, Carroll is murdering it.

Freshman standout Ryan Daly dropped 24 and pulled down 12 boards, while in the process surpassing the Delaware freshman season scoring record (412) and knocking down a game winner.

He’s done this before.

This season he’s shooting 43% from the field and 33.8% from three, while averaging 15, 7, and 2 in 32mpg. He’s won CAA Rookie of the Week honors a Delaware record 5 times, making for an all around tremendous season.

2014 Carroll grad Austin Tilghman knocked down a filthy ¾ court shot last night at the buzzer for Monmouth

Aus is averaging 7pts, 3 reb, 1 ast, 1 stl per game this season in 20 mpg

And last but not least, our boy Derrick Jones fixes to dominate the dunk contest tomorrow night. His highlight videos have been plastered all over Twitter in the weeks since it was announced he would participate in what is typically the biggest event of Saturday night during All-Star weekend.

I have no misconception that Derrick is currently amazing at basketball, everyone knew he was a huge upside player with growing to do. He’s worked his jumper and defense, but anyone with his raw athleticism has a legitimate shot and being a solid NBA player.

But who cares, he can dunk better than anyone on the planet, so let’s just watch him dunk some more:

Go get that W.

Douchebag of the Week – Idk man

I have such a profound amount of hate in my heart that I couldn’t decide who I was pissed at most. Do I want to spew my shit at the Sixers front office or at Chris Christie’s giant fupa, it’s hard to say. But I guess we’ll go with the Jersey scum.

If you live under a rock, Christie basically said Philly fans were uncivilized and CBP is unsafe. To which every breathing person in SE PA made as many fat and hot dog jokes you could physically imagine. But rather than that, I’d like to  show you one single image that defines Chris Christie as a whole –

My favorite picture of him ever. This man is so fat and has such little self control he poured a small M&M bag into a big M&M bag. That picture is taken at a stadium. That means he opened the small bag to pour into the big bag. He would’ve saved the small bag if he didn’t plan to eat ALL of them in a ~3 hour game, and we’ll assume he succeeded. Let’s break down the stats:

The small bag alone has 31g of sugar, 230 calories, 9g of fat. That’s one serving, not too bad.

The big bag is a different story. 2,640 calories. 156g of fat. 264g of sugar.

Now let’s assume he had, conservatively two hot dogs and 2 drinks (we’ll say Coke.) Stadium Cokes are like 32 oz so with those he took in 310 calories, and 84g of sugar. Two hot dogs cost him 28g of fat, 300 calories, and 1200mg of sodium.

Now time for some math. We can say with relative certainty that this heaping pile of sweaty garbage consumed 3,480 calories, 193g of fat, 1600mg of sodium, and 379g of sugar. In three hours. How’s that for “uncivilized” you walking dumpster.

Also he fucked up some stuff with bridges or something and Trump bullied him into eating meatloaf, but who cares politics are stupid.

 Written by Brendan Feeney

Image Sources – sbnation.com,  bluehens.com, watchloud.com

Wing Bowl 25 Recap

Have you ever regretted making a decision in your life, but at the same time been very proud of it? Yeah that’s pretty much my take away from Wing Bowl 25. I didn’t have any classes on Friday, so I figured why not go and take a year or two off my life? I feel like it should be a civic duty that every delcodelphian needs to attend at least one wing bowl in their lifetime. This event was so humanly degrading, yet it embodied everything great about being a human being. We are the top of the food chain, and we have the ability to get drunk whenever, and wherever we want. That includes being drunk at the crack of dawn with the highest quality degenerates you can imagine.

I think the highlight of the day had to be witnessing the infamous cocaine slinging “El Wingador” in action for the first time in my life. All heroes pass their prime eventually, and that’s what happened with my man here. He came, and he lost in the legend wing off with Molly Schuyler.

Out of all of the celebrity guests that have come along, Ric Flair has to be the highest qualified to attend the Wing Bowl. People laugh at his children in the audience quote, but I would bet money that it’s true. It only feels right that I had to spend just $15 on a ticket to be able to tell my grandchildren I got to see a 67 year old Ric Flair blackout drunk at 8am.

The wing bowl winner, “Notorious B.O.B.” Shoudt became the oldest piece of shit to win this wing bowl. 409 wings later, he gets to take home $10,000, a Hyundai Sante Fe, a wing bowl ring, and a medal for a week long of the most painful shits imaginable. 409 WINGS. Jeeeesus man.

Since Angelo Cataldi is approaching death by heart attack, this is probably the last year he does this. The future of the wing bowl remains uncertain, and I am thankful I was able to survive one of these bad boys before someone reasonable shuts this thing down completely.

Written by Mike Cloran

Image Sources: Philly.com and 94.1 WIP

Top Dog and DBag Of The Week 1-27-17

Top Dog of the Week – NFL Media

Look these guys do a tremendous job in the two weeks between conference championship week and Super bowl Sunday. Is Matt Ryan Elite? WHO wins more championships when wearing white? WHAT PLAYERS came by trades and picks from the Browns? WILL THIS CEMENT Tom Brady as best QB of all time? ARE THE FALCONS A GOOD TEAM?

Look the NFL national media is always on top of the ‘create your own storyline’ game. They have to be when there are only games on 3 days a week 26 weeks a year, with 12 weeks of draft coverage and 6 weeks of camp. And at this time of year, I NEED reminders that Julio Jones is indeed an exceptional athlete. Sometimes I forget. I cannot LIVE without knowing if Phil Simms thinks the Patriots are better without Gronk. I need to find out if Colin Cowherd thinks Tom Brady is playing for a starting spot like I need oxygen. Without these takes I’d be starved. I’d look like Spongebob the first time he went to Sandy’s.

Shout out to you guys, what would football be without you?

Douchebag of the Week – Anyone outside Southeast PA

I could write 1000 words on why JoJo was jipped. I could write a hit piece on the NBA. I could have a temper tantrum. I already did that though. But Embiid summed it up on 47 characters better than I ever could.

If you didn’t vote for Embiid at least 30 times fuck you. If you’re a media member and didn’t vote for Embiid double fuck you. If you’re an NBA player triple fuck you then fuck you again for reading some lowlife Delco weirdo’s blog about why you suck (I love to imagine like, Dion Waiters reading this in a dark hotel room before bed getting angry at himself for voting for K-Love.)

If you did vote for Embiid and you’re not from the greater Philadelphia area (i’ll even include south Jersey) then scram because either you moved away from this great place or you’re on a bandwagon. Either way I hope you get spit on by an alpaca.

No matter what i say it will make no difference, Joel Embiid not making an All-Star game with his current numbers, regardless of games played, is a historically enormous fuck up. Please fix it Adam Silver, you’re better than this.

Written by Brendan Feeney

Image Soruces – lockerdome.com, globalcitymap.com, twitter.com/NFLMedia, shutterstock.com

Wawa Shits On Sheetz

“Sheetz is better” might be the absolute worst thing anyone from Delco can hear. We’ve spent way too much money on great coffee and held doors for far too many people at Wawa to hear that bullshit. Leave it to people outside of PA to give these premature, ill informed opinions on this matter.

Subway. Jeeeez guy try again. I love me some Big Cat, but my man is just wrong here. Pardon that take.

Yeah, this is coming from a New York guy. New York is famous for their what? Hot dogs? Yeah congrats guys, you mastered the fucking hot dog. If Wawa is gas station food, then it is the Michael Jordan of gas station food.

There are going to be those Pittsburgh people who weren’t loved enough as a child. Their parents weren’t good enough people to move their kids to an area with a Wawa around. They grew up and built up this sad opinion that Sheetz is actually better than Wawa.

Wawa vs. Sheetz

The only real stat that Sheetz wins in is the variety of food, but just because you have more variety, doesn’t mean the quality is better. Wawa clearly has the cheaper, better quality food. Yeah, it’s great that Sheetz has those little microwaveable chicken wings and bites, but that will never compare to my Classic Buffalo chicken strip sandwich with a Wawa chocolate milk and Wawa’s Mac and cheese. (Big reason why I’ve been hitting the cardio harder lately.)

This chart is from odyssey.com

We kill it in the two big ones. Higher quality food, and higher quality coffee. That’s all we need baby. If we had more variety, it would just take me another half hour to decide what to eat anyway.

So call me back when you go to a Sheetz’s hoagiefest five days a week, hold at least 3 doors for people walking in, drink great coffee and walk out of the place only spending single digits. The Wawa vs. Sheetz argument doesn’t have a clear winner in the state of PA, but Philadelphia agrees wholeheartedly that Wawa is better. Let’s face it, we just know a lot more about food. We have the Cheesesteak, hoagies, soft pretzels, Wooder Ice and more.

We need to keep defending Delcos kitchen from these absurd Sheetz attacks folks. Have a great day.

Written by Mike Cloran

Top Dog and DBag of the Week (1-13-17)

Top Dog of the Week – No One

Everybody sucked this week, no one deserves to have this prestigious award bestowed upon them. Be better people.

Douchebag of the Week – Hassan Whiteside

Jealousy is never a good look, especially when it’s in the form of denial. You make ridiculous claims, and say stupid things while you try to hang on to the last inkling of the thread that is your relevancy.  You try to keep in the news and in the thick of things, only to realize your 15 minutes of fame are over. Hassan Whiteside knows all about this.

Whiteside had one season of being in the top 5 bigs discussion. Now all he does is mindlessly grab missed shots and put his 9 ft long tentacles in the air to slap opponents’ layups for a team with a worse record than the Sixers.

A man of little talent and massive born potential, Whiteside wasted his time being a cocky dickhead, turning the ball over innumerably, and sucking DJ Khaled’s chode. Now he’s tossing out not so subtle digs at a rookie who has played probably 1/10th the organized basketball he has, and is already out being out-played in almost every category, all in less minutes.

Besides the fact Embiid is dominating Whiteside statistically in nearly every advanced metric as well, the All-Star game has historically always been a popularity contest. Why does Hassan think D-Wade is #2 in Eastern Conference guards in voting? What’s his theory on Steph Curry having more votes than Russ and Harden?  The All-Star game is purely about money and the money makers make it. Even if we were in a parallel universe where Hassan Whiteside were equally as talented as JoJo, no one outside of Miami would want to watch his boring, unoriginal play style over a 7’2” man knocking down 3s at an elite rate, switching onto top 5 guards on D, and dancing and trying to bang famous singers. It’s just nonsense to think otherwise. Have fun in the strums of mediocrity, Hassan.

Written by Brendan Feeney

Image Credit – Yahoo! Sports